Ministry Is This

The epitome of ministry: John 1:29 "The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, "Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!" While John the Baptist was with his followers, Jesus becomes in plain sight. His response is the only acceptable response for us who claim to follow and serve Yeshua.. In essence, "Don't look at me. LOOK. THERE is the Lamb of God, and He is the reason I exist. This is not about me. This is about the one who takes away the sin of the world!" OH, Jesus Christ. I bless your name.

Kissing His Hands

Oi from Brazil!   I have been here two weeks now, and have only grown hungrier.

The last two and half months I spent in the States prior to leaving were spent in much anticipation, expectation, and contention...

Anticipation and expectation are to be understood, but contention?

If you allow the Lord to break you, He will.

Truly, there is no greater reward than to lay down your life and let the Lord break you. This is a continual process, and for as much as I hate it...I love it.

I want to know Him and share the laid down life with Him.

" The cross must destroy all that belongs to our outward man--our opinions, our ways, our cleverness, our self-love, our all...." 

Jesus, have my all. As Peter said, "To whom shall I go? You have the words of eternal life." (John 6:68) 



"We need to learn how to kneel down and kiss the hand that deals with us." -Watchmen Nee

Take three

Here we go again, friends and family!

Departure: Nov 6th, 2014 to Sao Paulo, Brazil. 

I am reminded, "Passion always looks like sacrifice to people who are not in love." Kris Valloton

This is no sacrifice. Here's my life.

Thanks, Jason Upton, for this song.

Not In A Hurry

I'm not in a hurry... If I rebel to a holding time in "my" life, what does that say about this journey I share in hand with the lover of my soul? It would only show my immaturity. It would reveal I haven't yet realized the grandiose love of the Father to the capacity that He not only fashioned the stars and the moon, but has in fact ordained every step of my life.. In fact, it may also reveal that I've yet things of myself to die to...especially if I think this life is still "mine".. If I thought moving was a way to gain more victory in my own personal life, I have already started down a faulty road of thinking.. If I think I have to go somewhere overseas to "do ministry", I have been completely blinded.. If I allow my mind to convince me that being burned at the stake for the cost of following Jesus will leave the greatest legacy, I'm still thinking of me and I've perhaps neglected a greater call: to be a living sacrifice. On the other hand.. If I think letting God uproot my life won't result in incredible testimonies in my life and the lives of others, I've squelched the adventure of walking with the Holy Spirit... If I think the Holy Spirit is in the business of creatively dropping dreams in my heart just for the sake of dreaming, I've mocked the beauty of carrying the Father's heart and the excitement and glory He gets when Heaven meets earth... And If I think that being brought to a place of radical love for the bridegroom is not constantly a display and offering of Glory to God, I've put myself back under law and condemnation, and I've forgotten the mission of God for all mankind... I can speak with the tongues of men (learn Portuguese, Cantonese, Swahili, fill in the blank..), and prophecy to every soul I meet..I can raise 24 men from the dead and one-up Smith Wigglesworth who raised 23--- I can have visions and dreams and spout the great mysteries of God to the nations.. but if I don't have love, it profits nothing... Here's the point of everything we do.. the reason why we wake up every morning...our very existence all comes back to one thing: God passionately, zealously, and wooingly has man on His mind all. the. time. We can turn the other way and chase every other lover this world offers, but we will constantly, for eternity be written on His heart. I can never outrun the breath of God that formed me. And to prove His love, He gave us a glorious bridegroom--His Son..to come in flesh to win the hearts of mankind. And He will for all eternity be inviting man to come into His chambers and experience the divine kisses of His love until the day He finally brings me home in love. It's not gross. It's not impure. The kisses from Jesus are not unholy. And once you experience the invitation of intimacy, you are a mess with giddiness and your only response becomes "Take me away with You-let us hurry! Let the King bring me into his chambers..." (Song of Solomon 1:4) His love becomes your life motto. It's here in the chambers, you are wooed and delighted, and drunk ...it's the place where freedom sets in .. and it's the place where a fire gets fanned inside of you. It's this place where our hearts swell at the mention of His name. And in the revelation and dwelling of His love, you mature into carrying the Father's heart for mankind...it's here a zeal forms to run with God to anyone and everyone--because they too have got to know this kind of love.. If I think I'm doing anything for Christ for any other motivating factor, I need to go back to the chambers and be reminded of the intoxicating love that first called MY name. I am not moving to move. I am moving because that's what He dreams for my heart..but wherever I may be, I will run with the bountiful Gospel of love burning on the inside.. and for as much as I want to "run", I'm not in a hurry.. Jesus, I want to be mature in this love. Jesus, I want to disciple well. Jesus, I love you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvfCWpRKCnk

Got Fear? Let Go.

http://kaciecallison.wordpress.com/2014/08/28/dont-be-afraid/

Moving to Brazil

New adventures lie ahead...

For those of you new to this blog, I created it years ago when I initially started the application process of becoming a missionary. The Lord halted me, kept me in Springfield, MO, but allowed me to keep the blog!

Now, years later, after completing my Masters at AGTS, and through much prayer, I am off again (and finally!) to the next place with full assurance He is leading!   

This "next stop" is actually an uproot from Springfield. If I come back, it will be because He leads me back. Otherwise, I'm taking my four bags of belongings and "moving" to Brazil!

As of right now, I leave Springfield August 19th. Our agenda includes traveling the frontier of Peru and Columbia from Sept-Oct.  We will return to Manaus for a bit and then minister in Sao Paulo. Portuguese is the language, and no, I do not know how to speak it. However, I believe for supernatural communication among the people including tongues in their language!

I go expecting to see the release of the Kingdom in large measure because He is wanting to pour out in an extraordinary fashion.

Stay connected through this blog or by facebook/email. 

Pagnane3893@gmail.com

Also, if you'd like to support financially, donations can be made on my paypal page.
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Going to Bed with a Vision

Recently I was given the opportunity to spend New Years Eve with 30,000 other Christians parading and shouting the name of Jesus past midnight. Now, I can't speak for anyone else there, but I was ecstatic. I felt I had even more of a glimpse of what Heaven may be like as thousands of people joined the angelic choirs who have already been in the joyous repeat of "holy". It reminds you of how small you are and how big and loving our God is. 

Now, this blog is not written to criticize or rate the event nor my experience at it. In fact, I only mention the conference to give you, my reader, a context for the next couple paragraphs.The last few days following the conference, I have gone to bed hours earlier just so I could sit in my room alone with Jesus-- hungry to know Him more.  Food isn't appealing; hanging with friends, although sweet to my soul, pales in comparison; and even reading, which I love to do, holds no equal footing when compared to being with my God in the quiet bed of my room which seems like the most peaceful corner on earth. My hearts cry has been: Lord, how do I go to bed with a vision? 

Maybe you are not sure what I mean by that statement? I mean in the literal and figurative sense. When you have experienced the depths of the King's heart/love toward you, and now you either realize a bit more the capacity to which His Spirit abides in you and/or the Lord has given you a vision for future things to come for your life journey with him--experiencing that and then trying to reconcile how to (1) carry that day after day in this fallen earth and (2) literally, go to bed with it and wake up just as sure the next morning about it. After experiencing the depths of the King's heart and knowing that as His people, we carry a vision of Him inside of us, I don't even want to allow slumber to my eyes when I carry such a thing inside me. As silly as it may sound to some, I didn't want to go to bed and miss any moment with the One that I have so completely fallen for. Even knowing the next morning that vision is still housed in me, a heart in love wants to waste through the night with the one their affection is set on...

To put that in earthly terms: it's similar to the experience of when you first meet someone you are really attracted to and interested in- neither of you wants to part ways when the evening is done. Had it not been for responsibilities or parents, most of us would stay through the night talking with that person because you simply would rather not be anywhere else. Even when you recoginize during the conversation with that person, that you are hungry, you don't want to interrupt such a moment to focus on anything else like having to cook a meal-you don't even want to change the scenery because, to you, things are perfect right in this moment and your desire to stay there prevails among the hunger pains. (Note: This is part of the context for biblical fasting--ask me, I'll explain what I mean). And forget the thought of inviting another friend to join the deeply personal conversation you have going on with this person. That would be utterly out of the question because we all know this would change the dynamics of the conversation.

 Have you ever had that experience with the Lord? Let me say, it's possible...

In the meantime of asking the Lord the question above, the Lord reminded of several things:

1. While the Bible has much to say about sleep, the reminder for me is that my desire is normal and biblical: David hungered to the point of not wishing to allow slumber to his eyes until the vision he had to create a dwelling place for the Lord in his desire to build another temple, was fulfilled. And yet, it is a gift of the Lord to allow peaceful sleep and not anxiety to His beloved because He understands the frailty of the physical human vessel.

Psalm 132:4-5:

I will not give sleep to my eyes or slumber to my eyelids, until I find a place for the Lord, a dwelling place for the Mighty One of Jacob.”

Psalm 127:2:

It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.

Whether I'm sleeping in peace, or awake in the quiet hours of the night, the Spirit of God rests in THIS place, my vessel.

2. Keep carrying the Lord's vision and fight for it day unto day because the Lord's desire for us is to feast with Him one day in the Marriage Supper of the Lamb, and this is what really matters among the hourly infiltration of earthly things that require us to stay somewhat connected and sane on earth for the sake of those around us unaware of the Gospel. 

Matthew 25:5: 

As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept.

Not me, Oh Lord. I will fight. I will stay alert and awake as I experience earthly and spiritual things.

3. Ignore the mocking voice or an attitude of judgement. It is way too easy to fix my attention on 29,999 other people who claim to love Jesus, and judge their lifestyle. And just as simple as we can do that, we can invite the voice of the enemy to rationalize our vision, dreams, and true revelations about the Lord...Jacob experienced this limbo with the Lord and his brothers..

Genesis 37: 19-20

 “Here comes that dreamer!” they said to each other. “Come now, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we’ll see what comes of his dreams."

But Jospeh carried the vision faithfully.. because he trusted the Lord, and he saw the bigger picture.

Genesis 50:20:

“Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? ²⁰ You intended to harm me, but God intendedit for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives".

I have the power to fix my attention on the Word of the Lord, and refuse the voices that come from the one that longs to destroy all the Lord has in store!

Join me, would you, beloved?