Recently I was given the opportunity to spend New Years Eve with 30,000 other Christians parading and shouting the name of Jesus past midnight. Now, I can't speak for anyone else there, but I was ecstatic. I felt I had even more of a glimpse of what Heaven may be like as thousands of people joined the angelic choirs who have already been in the joyous repeat of "holy". It reminds you of how small you are and how big and loving our God is.
Now, this blog is not written to criticize or rate the event nor my experience at it. In fact, I only mention the conference to give you, my reader, a context for the next couple paragraphs.The last few days following the conference, I have gone to bed hours earlier just so I could sit in my room alone with Jesus-- hungry to know Him more. Food isn't appealing; hanging with friends, although sweet to my soul, pales in comparison; and even reading, which I love to do, holds no equal footing when compared to being with my God in the quiet bed of my room which seems like the most peaceful corner on earth. My hearts cry has been: Lord, how do I go to bed with a vision?
Maybe you are not sure what I mean by that statement? I mean in the literal and figurative sense. When you have experienced the depths of the King's heart/love toward you, and now you either realize a bit more the capacity to which His Spirit abides in you and/or the Lord has given you a vision for future things to come for your life journey with him--experiencing that and then trying to reconcile how to (1) carry that day after day in this fallen earth and (2) literally, go to bed with it and wake up just as sure the next morning about it. After experiencing the depths of the King's heart and knowing that as His people, we carry a vision of Him inside of us, I don't even want to allow slumber to my eyes when I carry such a thing inside me. As silly as it may sound to some, I didn't want to go to bed and miss any moment with the One that I have so completely fallen for. Even knowing the next morning that vision is still housed in me, a heart in love wants to waste through the night with the one their affection is set on...
To put that in earthly terms: it's similar to the experience of when you first meet someone you are really attracted to and interested in- neither of you wants to part ways when the evening is done. Had it not been for responsibilities or parents, most of us would stay through the night talking with that person because you simply would rather not be anywhere else. Even when you recoginize during the conversation with that person, that you are hungry, you don't want to interrupt such a moment to focus on anything else like having to cook a meal-you don't even want to change the scenery because, to you, things are perfect right in this moment and your desire to stay there prevails among the hunger pains. (Note: This is part of the context for biblical fasting--ask me, I'll explain what I mean). And forget the thought of inviting another friend to join the deeply personal conversation you have going on with this person. That would be utterly out of the question because we all know this would change the dynamics of the conversation.
Have you ever had that experience with the Lord? Let me say, it's possible...
In the meantime of asking the Lord the question above, the Lord reminded of several things:
1. While the Bible has much to say about sleep, the reminder for me is that my desire is normal and biblical: David hungered to the point of not wishing to allow slumber to his eyes until the vision he had to create a dwelling place for the Lord in his desire to build another temple, was fulfilled. And yet, it is a gift of the Lord to allow peaceful sleep and not anxiety to His beloved because He understands the frailty of the physical human vessel.
Psalm 132:4-5:
I will not give sleep to my eyes or slumber to my eyelids, until I find a place for the Lord, a dwelling place for the Mighty One of Jacob.”
Psalm 127:2:
It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.
Whether I'm sleeping in peace, or awake in the quiet hours of the night, the Spirit of God rests in THIS place, my vessel.
2. Keep carrying the Lord's vision and fight for it day unto day because the Lord's desire for us is to feast with Him one day in the Marriage Supper of the Lamb, and this is what really matters among the hourly infiltration of earthly things that require us to stay somewhat connected and sane on earth for the sake of those around us unaware of the Gospel.
Matthew 25:5:
As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept.
Not me, Oh Lord. I will fight. I will stay alert and awake as I experience earthly and spiritual things.
3. Ignore the mocking voice or an attitude of judgement. It is way too easy to fix my attention on 29,999 other people who claim to love Jesus, and judge their lifestyle. And just as simple as we can do that, we can invite the voice of the enemy to rationalize our vision, dreams, and true revelations about the Lord...Jacob experienced this limbo with the Lord and his brothers..
Genesis 37: 19-20
“Here comes that dreamer!” they said to each other. “Come now, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we’ll see what comes of his dreams."
But Jospeh carried the vision faithfully.. because he trusted the Lord, and he saw the bigger picture.
Genesis 50:20:
“Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intendedit for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives".
I have the power to fix my attention on the Word of the Lord, and refuse the voices that come from the one that longs to destroy all the Lord has in store!
Join me, would you, beloved?
